Adulting and all #10
I am such a people pleaser! Be right back after reading "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck"...
Helluu all, how y'all doing? Yes, I am alive and this newsletter is not dead.
I have been busy in my offline life (9-5, gym, and some other significant changes upcoming) I know I shouldn't really be having the above statement as an excuse to NOT write.
Well here I am and let us address the elephant in the room - PEOPLE PLEASING.
Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional. I don't intend to hurt anyone with the things I am going to write further and just putting myself out here with something I have realized.
I am not a 100% people pleaser… I guess!
People pleaser is defined as a person who consistently strives to please others, often sacrificing their own wants or needs in the process.
I know the first thing you'd ask me is: Bilwa why do you think this way? Or what made you realize?
I have noticed a pattern for a few years that I fail to set boundaries, and have a difficult time saying NO to people. No, no strangers aren’t a problem here… it’s usually friends I struggle with. The communication where I need to be upfront about something, I just can’t do it because it makes me feel guilty afterwards. And saying no makes me feel like a selfish person. (I know right! which crazy person doesn’t prioritize self?)
If you notice in my newsletter issues before - you’ll see a lot of mention for self love and care. Honestly in a way maybe I was convincing myself with the writing along with improving myself. Anyways the point is - I need to start focusing on the fact that my mental peace is important over anything else as of now.
Oh by the way, you don’t really need to feel sad or sorry for me, as I have been working on it since my college days. The broken friendships and relationships end up teaching more wisdom that you never knew before (part of adulting apparently!). Although I am very proud about the improvements I am making you know.
I am reflecting on what doesn’t suit my peace anymore and take action on protecting my peace. Although it still takes a little longer to realise, I am glad I have come a long way. Also I have stopped feeling guilty about taking the decisions that actually help me grow. Better late than never, haha!
But but I know I still have a longgg way to go…
Oh by the way, I haven’t read the Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck… But I really feel like I should (Every influencer starter pack contains this book!)
Constant feeling of overwhelm
Honestly being at this age sucks in many ways, the constant pressure to do good at work, to earn enough, to find a good place, to do something out of the box, to settle down with a partner, and so many things. I mean I am not against anything, but that definitely doesn't make me capable of pulling all of these things off right?
Apparently one is never ready to do something, you just take a leap of faith. Yes all wisdom sounds good until you are the one taking that leap.
I have been falling behind on my creativity a lil, where I am not writing or creating video content. This is making me feel even more worse... Somehow I have managed to attach my productivity levels to this part of me too and I always feel like I am not doing enough.
But I am definitely going to figure out a way on how to channel my creativity out here or on YouTube. Somehow the number of views don’t matter to me, but the feeling of publishing is something I miss a lot these days.
My LinkedIn account got hacked!
Oh yes, major update is that I officially lost my LinkedIn account. Long story short it got hacked first, I regained the acess and then decided to delete it because I still felt that it was at risk.
I wasn’t really sad about it, although yes the growth of account was pretty good. Felt like I could use a fresh start where I can actually use the things I learned in the past about building social media prescence.
Nah, keeping the good for later!
I usually try making my newsletter well - balanced with good things that happend, major rants, and some wisdom. But I would like to keep this one the way it is and write the major nice things that happened in the next issue (no don’t worry, will publish it soon)
Although I would appreciate you replying to this issue about your POVs about people pleasing, hehe.
Oh, by the way, I also started my YouTube channel recently to feed my creative side! Just a space for me to try out different types of content— Check it out here! I am also thinking of maybe starting a new series for the new year for the newsletter as well, let’s see I’ll keep you guys posted.
You guys are damn sweet to read my newsletter till the end! Feel free to give feedback through the comments or drop a 💖 if you liked this one. Have a great day/night ahead my amazing readers.
Make sure to share it with your friends if you found it relatable!