Adulting and all #4
People love wearing masks. Pretense. Personalities. Putting up a wall.
Helluuuu to my amazing readers! I hope y’all are doing fine, if not feel free to rant by replying to this mail.
I know the sub heading makes it sound like some newsletter that talks about psychological studies. Not really going to write about it as I am not a professional, but I definitely came across people who taught me enough about how I give away benefit of doubt because of my sweetness.
Yes people love pretending to be someone if its getting the job done. This “job” could be literally a tag in your social circle of being cool, getting others to like you, and more importantly going into denial about own insecurities and fears. (last part was meant to be an attack only)
But for reals, no clue why being your true self is so hard… I feel we have been wired to think in a certain way because of the standards that have been set or the bringing up or the culture or the situations.
Why do I have the right to talk about this? Well, no I don’t… but I have been an insecure person for a long time(and I still might be), even to an extent where I felt I couldn’t do without a specific person (I know right, crazy!)
It’s hard to accept them flaws and it takes whole another level of courage to work on them shamelessly. I said shamelessly because people around you don’t leave a single chance to ridicule your actions. Now that I have made a choice to face them fears and insecurities, and finally decided to accept myself the way I am, life’s been easier. Easier in the sense, at the end of the day when you go to sleep you have lesser things to worry about, haha. It wasn’t a one day process that I just woke up one day and was like “hey I love myself so much”.
That definitely didn’t happen! It took a lot of efforts to just show up and do something that made me uncomfortable everyday : tweeting your heart out, speaking to random people on daily basis (trust me introducing self tests you on another level), approaching new people for podcasts, or meeting the new people in person and spending time.
The above thing doesn’t mean that I am fully secure and shit… no way I am still working a lot on improving my own behavior, learning about boundaries, and about giving a f*ck to things around you.
Putting yourself first, accepting self, loving self are all hyped up Instagram clichés, only if somebody told me its not as aesthetic as it sounds! Oh but the results throughout the journey makes a hell lot of difference (emitting good vibes, attracting good people who are also on that journey, health improvements)
April updates much?
My roommate had gone to visit her parents and I had a short experience of living by myself. I realized I kinda like it: doing everything on my own and living by myself. It’s just a random preference to be honest, nothing to do with anyone or anything else.
I had like a very short trip to Lonavala to celebrate one of my friend's birthday. Lonavala is a very pretty place with some awesome villas to see and has a very calm vibe. We didn’t really explore much as we didn’t have a vehicle to commute but we just chilled a lot with each other. I also got a chance to get one of those Pinterest level aesthetic picture too!
My roommate and I had to shift apartments because we wanted our own rooms and personal spaces. Finding a nice apartment with required amenities, furniture, and good surroundings is a lot of struggle. We didn’t have our own commute hence we definitely spend money on Ola. It looks something like this: Figure an area, find maximum apartments in the area, call the owners and book the slot to visit, compare apartments, choose a few best, compare rents and negotiate. (hehe, seems trivial but its definitely tiring)
But I feel everyone should have this house hunting experience in the 20s itself, gives a good overview of how things work and makes you more independent!
Few random learnings from this month:
You can’t trust everyone around you the same way you did with a few close friends.
Shifting houses is hard - Searching and finding the right one (for bachelors esp)!
Not really meant to get along with everyone…sometimes it just doesn’t click.
Everyone seems sorted, no one actually is :)
On this wisdomous note, let me end this issue of the newsletter. You guys are damn sweet to read my newsletter till the end! Feel free to give feedback through the comments or drop a 💖 if you liked this one.
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Okay byeee! Have a great day/night ahead :)
This reads like a diary I'd annotate to illegibility with "that's exactly what I feel!"
Talking about insecurities and fears and everyone pretending to being sorted while reading a book titled "How Not To Be Wrong" is the ultimate sleight of hand😂🙇🙊
A suggestion too, if I may: try joining Facebook groups of the city you're trying to find an apartment in. It's incredibly helpful and relatively organized.