Adulting and all #7
Planning for the future? Where do you see yourself in 5 years? No plans at all??
Hello beautiful minds! How are you all doing? (No really! Feel free to reply to this mail with any rants)
I am not really okay with these following questions:
What are your plans of the future?
Where do you see yourself 5/10/20 years down the line?
What career path are you going to stick to?
When and where are you planning to settle?
And the funniest part is my parents are not the ones asking these (I guess I am blessed hehe). The problem is not answering the questions, I am pretty sure 80% of us lie and exaggerate during interviews to get the job. The problem is the uncertainty of things that go around during these years and also probably the unrealistic goals that are in my head. Honestly even I don’t know what I want and I think its okay that I am still figuring it out. Hats off to people who know what they are going to do a few years down the line because you guys are the sorted ones :)
Apart from the uncertainty and chaos, I am scared of judgement. I know that people’s opinions don’t matter and all, but the opinions of close ones matter right? It’s hard to be not scared of judgement because I believe that all of us at the end of the day need validation to survive.
Somehow I have noticed that I didn’t try something because some people discouraged and demotivated me or just termed it as too bold or weird. Later on it turned out that I was amongst the wrong people :)
Well now I have improved on that stance — I don’t care and do what I like anyways (of course not extreme stuff, because I still have to answer my parents, hehe). But again, no matter how much ever I say that I don’t care about judgements/comments, I feel we always do care subconsciously (at least about our close ones— now do we really choose right people all the time?). This actually induces a fear on top of the existing fear, about trying to take a leap of faith.
What is the conclusion of all this discussion of validation? I feel that I have started taking decisions on my own drive to do something. Once I get a bold idea, I usually sleep on it to see whether it still excites me to take action. Next step is to read or research about it and see if I have the bandwidth to actually do it. Lastly, I ask few of my close people to validate the idea and usually to get a third person opinion. I sometimes listen to them, sometimes I just go on. Such things happen with practice I guess, no one is born in a way to ignore anyone’s opinion.
September…Octo…Nov…Dec…2023 nearing already?
The past 3 months went by way too fast to be very honest. My updates during these months are very less because I decided to take things slow and decided to maybe adapt to a better routine. Hence there might not me some major updates for these months.
Although September was nice because of the trip that happened to Chennai because of our college convocation. Trip lasted around 7 days where we went to Vellore for first 2 days and came back to just spend time with our close friends(ooh, attended Alan Walker concert too).
Yes I finally got the closure needed from college and a feeling that “hey I finally graduated from here with an engineering degree!”. Taking the walk around the beautiful campus just made me miss the college days even more, where I had lesser things to worry about and had literally no major responsibility. I, along with my friends had like so many things to say everytime we stopped by a certain spot or building. As the ceremony started happening, there were more people coming to the campus and I literally got to catch up with most of my people after like 2 years (felt so good that many of them got the job of their choices, are working for some cool startup or doing something of their own).
Seeing people happy made me realize this thing— that yes dots finally do connect, and of course we still worry about the dots scattered around us right now. But hey it definitely forms a beautiful design at the end when you look at it from top (maybe give it some more years who knows).
Adding more pictures related to the trip (bear with me, hehe)—
Honestly October, November, and December have been about pulling myself together, staying miles away from drama or something that messes with my peace. I have reduced my social life a lot, and have been focusing on my work. Since my medications ended in October as well I was very keen on researching about a good diet for my body type(I mean losing weight is the last thing I would want, I had to maintain as well as get the hormones right).
Decided to join the gym finally in November because working out at home can't be very consistent. Getting to like the gym and fitting it into a routine was also a pain. I had a breakdown within 8 days where I cried about not having time for myself with the office hours, gym, making meals, or getting chores done. Now I'm fine, and now it's part of my routine and I don't feel that way anymore. I feel this great feeling of accomplishing small goals in the last months of 2022. The best part would be no major resolutions —just follow what you already started CONSISTENTLY!
November was fun due to Zomaland— Ate good food, heard various artists perform and hung out with friends. The funniest thing is I never really aim to attend any concerts and it just happens - this time it was Dikshant (tum aankhon se batana..hum samajh jayenge), Armaan Malik, Vir Das, and Kashyap (newfound muse).
December has been about realizing the importance of having the good balance of creative, intellect, and health segments in your routine. All these days just constantly applying my brain on making things better. When I first joined Twitter I had read these threads from people into fitness and never realized the true weight of the words. Well now that I do I'm just glad and hoping to follow them for a long time. Apart from trying to find the balance it’s been quite hectic too especially workwise, but I am lowkey liking it.
2022 Wrapped…
Yes, I was struggling to write this issue for a while. Every time I wrote something I made sure to delete or discard it the very next day. Maybe because I had too many months to cover or maybe because I have a lot to say. But to keep it short… 2022 has been a year of emotional growth for me. Too many things happened that put my mind in the right place and I guess I am grateful for that.
I have realized that a well balanced routine makes me happier than losing a night's sleep for some instantaneous fun. I mean during trips and vacations having fun is great and is necessary (Else I won't get content for my newsletter you know). But the satisfaction of getting things done, eating healthy food and getting enough sleep is something else.
Regarding relationships, well I haven't had a great luck in meeting guys. The realist in me doesn't want to lose my peace right now— where I have so much to do and so many things to try or accomplish even! The hopeless romantic in me says —I guess when the right time comes it'll just happen and I won't possibly even realise it when it does :’)
Let's talk about a few wisdomous things I got to know over past 4 months:
Going with the flow is okay when you want to heal.
Stressing about becoming a better person > Stressing over a person
Keep drama away from you as much as possible.
The satisfaction of getting the to-do list done can't be matched.
Social life can be brought back anytime, a good routine can't be.
Starting content creation on YouTube is the best thing I have done, and I wished I had started earlier.
These years (20s) are for experimenting and trying stuff out, so just do that.
This is too many points now, I'll stop xD. Also I'm hoping for you guys that any resolution you hold on to, will become successful in the next year ❤️
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year in advance from my end🎄💝
Oh by the way, I also started my YouTube channel recently to feed my creative side! Just a space for me to try out different types of content— Check it out here! I am also thinking of maybe starting a new series for the new year for the newsletter as well, let’s see I’ll keep you guys posted.
Lets connect on Twitter if we haven’t already!
You guys are damn sweet to read my newsletter till the end! Feel free to give feedback through the comments or drop a 💖 if you liked this one. Have a great day/night ahead my amazing readers.
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